alfie po (lowlifer) wrote,
alfie po


I FEEL BAD RIGHT NOW, SO JUST BEAR WITH ME: i woke up early today feeling so jubilant and overly excited because this someone was supposed to take me out. actually, i was taking him out. i reserved a table at my friend's resto for 2, brought some tapes for my walkman( 2 volumes of the saturday night fever o.s.t.)& prepared some quotes if ever i'll need them along the way."love is evol spelled back wards."
so i went to work with a big smile plastered on my face. my sourcing slash styling went well. super peanuts. coupled with male models who came in for the go-see. wow. this is life.
then,i did the unfortunate task of texting him. guess what? CANCELED. "MY MUM WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO GO OUT BECAUSE OF ALL THOSE BOMBINGS HAPPENING AROUND.NEXT TIME." i was like "I LOVE YOU, DAMN IT!" but, you know me- still poised and everything. so i grabbed the closes shirt that i can and pretended that i was dying to try it on. "oh,i think this would up my cuteness factor 'no?" when i got inside the fitting room, i started crying-quietly. it was like taking a piss little by little. no sound. "if you want to cry- cry. let it out." STUPID.'made me feel desperate! thought that that part of my life is so over. i never had a serious relationship-never.
HAD TOO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE,SO MUCH AFFECTION. the grand illusion. mirage. it was never there at the first place. maybe next year.
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